How to say no to working for free!

This honestly wasn't going to be this long of a series. When I originally wrote this I was intending for it to be one post - don't do free gigs, don't be abused like many in the entertainments industry are. But when I started to delve deeper into my own thoughts and experiences I soon realised that this blanket approach to "Don't Work For Free" isn't as clear cut as you would expect. Granted 99% of these gigs should be avoided like the plague, but dealing with that 99% is tough. How do you say no to them without looking like an arse or pissing them off so they moan about you to clients? In this post, I'll be focusing on answering this, plus hopefully giving you a few little tips to take the edge off any freebie events you do.

Make them jump through hoops

One of my personal favourites with this is to reply back with a generic message along these lines

"Hi *****,

Thanks for getting in touch. Each year I get numerous requests to do shows and events for free. As I am sure you can understand however much I would love to do each and every one of these events I, unfortunately, cannot give away free shows every week to every cause. To make it fair I donate my time to two charitable requests that I receive each year. To determine which events I can offer my free shows to I would greatly appreciate it if you could fill out this form and return it back to me"

Attached to this email is a very generic form. It's got your basics on it such as their contact details etc, but also a description of their event, estimated guest numbers, what they require, advertising etc as well as anything they think you should know. It gives them a chance to sell their event to you, make you see how worthwhile it is for you to do. And it gives you a rough idea of what exactly they want from you (other than the generic message they often send you) and also an added bonus. It weeds out a lot of the requests quite quickly. You'll soon find that a lot of these fly-by-night events cannot be bothered to fill out the form. They have probably sent the same generic email out to 50 other entertainers in the hope that you reply back giving them something for nothing. Now if they perceived that you offer something of value, well they would be more than happy to jump through the hoop of filling out the basic form. After all, surely it would be worth a few hundred pounds worth of show for 5 minutes worth of work.

This is a method that works really well in getting a good idea of if an event is worthwhile to perform at, and also what the possible returns for you are. Now I know a lot of people can be put off filling in these forms, so to sweeten the deal for the client I often throw something like this into the email at the end.

"As a gesture of goodwill for anyone who isn't selected for a donated show, I generally offer any registered charities a substantial discount for any bookings made" The discount to be honest isn't huge. It's not one of those things that I openly say to people, but its enough to make people feel like I'm helping them out. Quite often this will help push people to fill out the form as it becomes a little more motivational. It's almost like a "second prize". I have had people in the past message me after receiving this message saying things along the lines of "Here's the form, I appreciate anything you can give me, even if it is a discount." Quite often that will sway me to give something to them for free, even if it's just a small 10 minute set or a decent discount.

It also helps turn it into a dialogue between you and the client. It's not just you asking for information, it's asking for them to sell you their event and explain why it's worth it. Try it next time you're asked for a freebie. You'd be surprised at the results.

Blame other people

Believe it or not, there are hundreds of people you can blame for your show not being free for people. From Equity to your "manager", "Agent" or "Insurers" there are lots of people who can take the blame for you not wanting to do the work. Most of the people who book you for this kind of freebie events don't actually work in the industry or they only pretend to. They will pretend they have a deep understanding of how showbusiness works but in reality, they probably know a lot less then they would like to let on. You can soon see who is blagging and who is knowledgeable and put it to good use. One of my favourite lines, when I'm called up for freebies, is to say that unfortunately, my insurers don't cover me for free events. I'll be honest it's a complete lie. They cover every professional performance I do. But by bumping the blame onto someone else it gives you a nice escape route to say "I'm sorry it's not my choice... I would if I could..." A lot of people are very understanding with this;10-minute in fact, blaming a mysterious entity that could be an ogre is a universal favourite of getting out of things.

Lie

We've all done this. Ever want to get out of going to the in-laws and said: "I'm working"? Notice how effective that is? You can do the exact same thing with clients. Don't be worried that someone will catch you out if you say you are unavailable when you actually are. No one is going to check or really be bothered 2 months down the line that you're sitting at home instead of being at a charity event that only a few people will be at. Don't be afraid to make those generic excuses!

Set your own demands

This one is more hit and miss when it comes to putting people off, but if its a gig you are "umming and ahhing about" then this could be a nice deciding factor. It almost leaves the choice up to the client.

When you discuss terms and such with them, note that in doing this you have some expenses to the job that while you essentially would do it for free, you would appreciate it if they could contribute something to the expenses. Make a deal about how much they save etc. Then make a list up of some basic expenses and your requirements - much like a rider. Send it over and see what happens. They may say it's too much or they may offer the expenses. Either way, you get an answer whether it's worth doing. I don't normally do this one myself as it's too hit and miss, but I do know a few people who do and they seem happy with it.

On the subject of expenses a little tip for freebies. Don't be afraid to ask for little extras. A lot of the time with fundraiser events there will be a meal with each ticket and usually, they prepare extras just in case of door tickets. So it usually costs them nothing extra to give you a meal, and if you are giving your time up it is perfectly acceptable to ask for basics like bottles of water, a couple of snacks etc. In the end, you are doing them a huge favour, especially with a free event. If they aren't willing to do that then it really shows how much they value your work.

A good tip for this is to provide a rider. This again will probably be something that I'll cover in a future post on what exactly should go in one, but for now, I seriously suggest sending over a rider for freebies. It reinforces the fact that you are a professional and makes people realise that you are giving them something of incredible value at no/little cost. You'd be surprised how much of the rider is filled - more then you would think.

What not to do

There's really only one point with this and it's "Don't be a dick". Yes, it's that little motto again. Most of the people who ask for freebies will not be offended if you turn them down. They know they are being cheeky, they know they are trying to get something for nothing and are trying their luck. So the crappy thing to do would be to rub it in their faces. (well not straight away anyway - if they are arsey to you then go for it!)

Saying things like "I can't pay my bills with exposure" or calling them names, while very therapeutic won't actually do you any favours. When it comes to these freebie events as I said, a majority won't give you any good return, but I can guarantee that an arsey response will provoke a negative response, which is easy to spread and hard to get rid of. You don't want them complaining about you because you told them to go away. Bad reviews spread quicker than good ones.

I think that's about it. In hindsight, these three posts can be summed up by simply saying just think about each gig. Don't do every freebie, you wont have any time for paid gigs and you won't get very far in performing, but if there's value in it then do it - but make sure it's worth your while.